Yup, I made pork tacos, and then I made an off-colour joke about euphemisms for genitalia. It’s that kind of night. You’re welcome. Or, I’m sorry…as the case may be.
So…I decided to try a new recipe that I found at this website:
Begin with a pork tenderloin. 
Decide on pork, not because the website calls them pork tacos, but because the local butcher has pork on sale. Cha-ching.
Toss the pork in cumin, salt and pepper.
Giggle about how you secretly wish your boyfriend would douse himself in cumin instead of expensive cologne. Lament your weirdness. Huff the fumes from the cumin container.
Pickle the onions.
Be skeptical of the advisedness of the quick-pickled onions, even if the ARE vidalias, because you hate that raw onion taste that lingers in your mouth after you eat and sticks to your toothbrush so that when you go to brush you teeth before work so your mouth doesn’t smell like sleep and breakfast, you get an instant shot of minty-fresh ONION mouth. And if the quick-pickled onions do that, you’re gonna be annoyed.
Make an avocado, cilantro and jalapeno pepper smoothie. Seriously, that’s basically what you end up with.
Undercook the pork. Because that’s how you like it. Trichinosis be damned!
Place undercooked pork, tasty onions with potentially dangerous long-term breath-effects, and avocado smoothie that looks like baby poop but is surprisingly delicious atop a soft corn tortilla. Take a picture. Then try to fold the taco. Break the taco in the process. Drop all the contents on your lap.
The end.
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