A Key Ingredient Lesson

Potato Casserole Supreme (Betty Crocker Cookbook)

My mother never made hash brown casserole. That’s not a fault. I learned late in life about it’s tasty cheesy, creamy, totally-easy-to-make-ness. That’s ok.

I still managed to mess it up. You’ll never guess how.

1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup 1 can condensed cream of chicken soup 1 container sour cream 1/2 cup milk 1/4 tsp pepper 1 package frozen shredded hash brown potatoes 8 medium green onions, sliced 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

1. Heat oven to 350F. Grease rectangular baking dish, 13x9x2 inches.

2. Mix soups, sour cream, milk and pepper in a very large bowl. Stir in potatoes and onions. Spoon into baking dish.

You can’ tell from this picture, but I had to substitute extra sour cream for the cream of chicken soup. Why? Because when I went to the grocery store after a long day of work, I grabbed a can of chicken broth instead of cream of chicken soup. Thank goodness I noticed before I poured.

3. Bake uncovered 30 minutes. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake uncovered 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown on top and bubbly around the edges.

In the end, this tasted kind of like cheating. I wasn’t really cooking so much as assembling and warming a series of ingredients already prepared for me. Call me a purist, but I don’t feel like this is cooking unless I cube the potato myself. So the overwhelming flavour here is the flavour of shirked responsibility. Bland shirked responsibility, since I couldn’t even be responsible for one of the most flavourful ingredients.

Mediterranean Poop Platter

Project: Mediterranean Risotto (Betty Crocker Cookbook)

I’m doing my best to enjoy olives. Particularly the kalamata variety. I’m trying because my boyfriend eats olives like some people eat popcorn or peanuts. I love risotto. It just seems to have everything – it’s a one-pot meal, it’s simple, it has nuanced flavours. Everything.

4 3/4 cups warm chicken broth 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped 1 1/2 cups uncooked Arborio or other short-grain white rice 2 cups broccoli flowerets 3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese 1/2 cup oil-packed sundried tomatoes, drained and chopped 1 tsp dried oregano 1 can (2 1/4 oz) sliced ripe olives, drained

1. Heat 1/4 cup of the broth and the garlic to boiling in 12" non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Stir in rice. Cook 1 minute, stirring constantly.

Look very closely. I realize it’s a blurry picture. But that’s not Arborio rice. It’s orzo. And this is the second time I’ve looked in the cupboard, decided not to buy Arborio rice, and then realized too late that what I thought was Arborio rice was actually orzo. Fail.

2. Pour 1/2 cup of the broth over rice mixture. Cook uncovered over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until liquid is absorbed. Continue cooking 15 to 20 minutes, adding broth 1/2 cup at a time and stirring occasionally, until rice is creamy and almost tender

Of course, orzo doesn’t get creamy and almost tender. It cooks like pasta. So it stays like pasta. Merde..

3. Stir in remaining ingredients. Cook 1 minute.

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Et voilà!

Verdict: A kind of rubbery version of risotto, with wilty broccoli, redeemed by the surprise bites of feta cheese. Kalamata olives lend a slightly diarrhoea flavour (because kalamata olives, unless disguised by tomatoes, have a slightly diarrhoea flavour). I think I can safely say I didn’t enjoy this one. Proof of this is that I found the container of this on the floor of my apartment having moved from the apartment at which I made this ris-orzo almost two weeks prior. It had become…great with mould. I obviously hadn’t missed it. Grocery-shopping fail, olives-tasting-good fail, general-dish fail.

A Pasta Kinda Feeling

Project: Marinara Sauce with Sausage and Ricotta (Real Simple Magazine, September 2006)

Sometimes you just need some hearty carbs on a plate. I’ve been having some busy weeks lately and though I want something simple to cook, I’ve also been doing my best to eat actual foods that I made myself. It’s a constant challenge, but I’m trying to be a real live adult who lives responsibly. It’s an hourly challenge.

This sauce is a variation on a basic marinara sauce. It’s stupid simple, but I’m posting it anyway.

2 tbsp olive oil 4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced 1 28-ounce can whole or diced tomatoes, undrained 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes 1 1/2 tsp dried oregano 1 tsp salt 1 tsp sugar 16 ounces orecchiette 1 lb hot Italian sausage 1 cup crumbled ricotta

Heat 1 tbsp of the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat.

Add the garlic and cook until golden but not browned, about 1 minute.

Add the tomatoes and their juices, red pepper, oregano, salt and sugar. bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer (crushing tomatoes with the back of a wooden spoon if using whole otmatoes) until the sauce thickens slightly, about 20 minutes. Steam looks kinda gross when it’s photographed, right?

While the sauce simmers, heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Cook 1 lb hot Italian sausage, casings removed, until no trace of pink remains. Foiled again by the steam!

Add the sausage to the sauce.

PAY NO ATTENTION TO MY DIRTY STOVETOP!

Cook the orecchiette according to the package directions.

Divide the orecchiette among plates. Top each with sauce and 1/4 cup crumbled ricotta. Serves 4.

Result? Super delish and satisfying. But made WAY more than 4 servings. This serving was massive and I still ended up with like…5-6 servings instead of 4. Who is this magazine feeding?