Smokers’ fingernails never tasted so good

Poppy Seed-Crusted Cauliflower (Oprah Magazine Cookbook)

I love a good side dish. And I love cauliflower, a most underrated vegetable. Most people think of it only as a vehicle for cheese sauce. It’s also a vehicle for turmeric, as you will soon see.

5 tbsp black or white poppy seeds 6 or 7 dried hot red chilies, like Japone or Thai 1/2 tsp ground turmeric 1 tsp salt 1 tsp sugar 1 medium-size cauliflower (about 2 lbs), cut into 1/2” florets 3 tbsp vegetable oil 1/2 tsp nigella seeds 2 bay leaves

I couldn’t find dried hot red chilies, so I used the PC Fire Eater’s mix my boyfriend left in a spice grinder in my apartment one day. I also didn’t have nigella seeds. Meh.

1. Grind poppy seeds and chili pieces in a spice or coffee grinder until they form a fine powder; transfer to a small bowl and mix with 6 tbsp water to form a paste. Set aside.

The poppy seeds kept falling out of my spice grinder, so I just said “screw it” and made a slurry instead.

2. In a medium bowl, combine turmeric, 1/2 tsp salt, and 1/2 tsp sugar; add cauliflower and toss until evenly coated. Set aside. 3. In a large non-stick skillet, heat 2 tbsp oil over medium-high heat. When oil is hot, add cauliflower and stir-fry 4 to 6 minutes until it begins to brown in spots; remove with slotted spoon to baking sheet lined with paper towels. 4. Add remaining 1 tbsp oil to skillet over medium heat. When oil is hot, add nigella seeds, bay leaves, and whole chilies. Stir-fry 15 seconds, hen add poppy seed paste. Stir-fry 1 to 2 minutes until fragrant; stir in cauliflower and remaining 1/2 tsp each salt and sugar until cauliflower is coated. Obviously, not having nigella seeds or whole chilies, I skipped that part of the step. Not project-ending.

5. Add 2/3 cup water; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer 4 to 6 minutes, stirring once or twice, until cauliflower is just tender and sauce is absorbed. Makes 6 servings.

These tasted super delicious, though mega spicy. The down side is that turmeric stains like a mo-fo, and I looked like a chain smoker for the next six days. Also, those poppy seeds gunked up my dishwasher something awful. Sacrifices.