Fire-Roasted Shrimp with Guacamole (Food & Drink Spring 2012)
I love guacamole. I love shrimp. The title of this recipe sounded amazing.
Start by making chili honey. Realize after the stores close that you have less than half the required amount of ginger. Question why there is ginger involved in a guacamole dish.
Place chili honey ingredients in a pot. Decide that any ingredient called “hot pepper” equals jalapeno at my grocery store.
Produce the chili honey. Question whether or not one can produce honey if one is not a bee.
Chop an amusingly shaped red pepper.
Question the wisdom of putting red pepper (even if amusingly shaped) in guacamole.
Really question the wisdom of putting SESAME OIL in guacamole. Mash it up anyway.
Peel and devein the shrimp. Wonder if the “freshwater shrimp” label is legitimate. Become very concerned about whether or not freshwater shrimp tastes ok.
Pan fry (fire roast?) the shrimp, drizzling it with chili honey (which contains no actual honey).
Plate two shrimp as directed in the recipe.
Eat the remaining shrimp, dipping directly into the guacamole bowl. Marvel at the total overabundance of guacamole. Let it go rancid in the fridge over the next few months. Continue not to clean it up.
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