The Best Dog Ever

 

My boyfriend’s parents are the worst people to get gifts for.  They have a lot of things already and they’re so into their routine that it’s really hard to get them something inspired that they don’t already have.  They also have the best dog ever.  So I came upon this website that gave them something functional but also celebrated their ownership of a pretty awesome dog (which is saying something, since I’m really not a dog person). 

Step 1.  Order very small quantities of expensive materials (that I could probably find locally but wanted to get at 11 p.m. in my pajamas) on Etsy.

Step 2.  Pay through the nose on shipping costs.

Step 3.  Fire up the hot glue gun.

Step 4.  Realize I have to find an awesome picture of the puppy.

Step 5.  Turn off the hot glue gun lest you burn down your apartment.

Step 6.  Find an awesome picture of the puppy on your boyfriend’s facebook.

Step 7.  Use the work photocopier to make the appropriate photocopies.

Step 8.  Grind your teeth as you cut the puppy out of the very expensive fabric you purchased on Etsy in the middle of the night in your pajamas.

Step 9.  Fire up the hot glue gun!  Again!

Step 10.  Glue the dog onto a bag.  Grind your teeth as you do it.

Step 11.  Put the bag away, patting yourself on the back for a job well done.

Step 12.  Pull the bag out a few weeks later to agonize over whether this was a great gift idea or not.  Realize that some of the glue has come loose in storage.  Weep copiously.

Step 13.  Fire up the hot glue gun…

Step 14.  Give the gift to your boyfriend’s parents.  Read feigned enjoyment into their thanks.  Weep copiously.

Step 15.  Feel sheepish when, months later, you realize they use the bag for transporting dog toys when the best dog ever stays at doggie daycare.  Sigh with weary contentment.