I'm going to keep this one short because I just haven't got it today.
Way back, five weeks ago, I remember admitting that I was actually kind of looking forward to some government-mandated do-nothing time. I thought I might finally have a minute to breathe. I am still employed, and I am childless, so an extended WFH should be a breeze, no?
Guys. I am not relaxed right now.
I have been pulling extra long days to get all my work done and I feel like my husband, who is home but not working, feels neglected and wishes that I wasn't spending so much time on work. He will correct me, and I appreciate that.
I have lost 20+ people I provide care to in the last month and though I know there was no way to prepare for this whole thing, I feel like it's partly because I wasn't prepared.
I have friends and family who want to have zoom calls with me and I really miss their faces but I have had literally one or more video conference calls (three today) or meetings every day to learn something new or to fix something I can't fix in person and I have nothing left for those people at the end of the day.
Last week I got a note from my corporate contact letting me know my work supporting front-line workers was noticed and appreciated, and I honestly couldn't think what I had done for her to give me that feedback. It was nice, but I also feel a little like I'm going to be found out somehow.
Anyway, that's how I feel. Like an impostor. Anxious. Not rested. I'm sure I'm not alone.
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